talking leaves

WHY IS IT THAT WHEN YOU TAKE A NEW RACK OF STAPLES FROM THE BOX YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BREAK HALF AN INCH OFF BECAUSE THE RACK IS TO LONG FOR THE STAPLE MACHINE NO MATTER WHAT THE MAKE. THEN THE FEW THAT YOU HAVE BROKEN OFF SEPERATE IN THE BOX AND ARE NO USE ANYWAY?

AND WHY DO BABY CLOTHES HAVE POCKETS?

Yesterday I was putting the new £150 tax disc on the car thinking of the cost, when my wife came out to tell me that she had just heard that an old friend had died. Someone who was happily married and had everything to live for. Suddenly £150 did not seem that important, at least I was still able to be here to spend it.

http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/leaving/3650134" title="leaving">

WHEN I TURN MY COMPUTER ON I AM SUDDENLY PROMPTED TO PRESS F1 TO ENTER START UP. IT NEVER USED TO DO THIS. WHY DOES IT DO IT NOW AND HOW DO I STOP IT?

I called in at the supermarket and bought some fresh mackerel fillets.

Whn I got home I skinned them and out them in the blender with an onion, some garlic and fresh chilli, a couple of mushrooms and a small bunch of sage, mint and chives from the garden. Then I added a little sea salt, black pepper, fish sauce and anchovy sauce. Blended the lot together then made into cakes. Now the best part. I cooked them in a big old frying pan with plenty of oil on a camping stove out in the garden in the sunshine. Oh bliss.

Whatever happened to common sense? A local youth has just drowned whilst swiming with friends in the river nearby. I am sorry for his family. The local people have demanded that the council put up WARNING signs. I have always known that bathing in a river was dangerous and should not be encouraged, neither was trying to cross a swolen stream, it was something I learned as a small child. The same as not going swimming or surfing on an outgoing tide or where there was strong cross currents. It was something instilled into me by caring parents. I sometimes wonder who is teaching these people the ways of life.

On another tack, some cafe owner was on the news complaining that people were not using his place and he was running short of cash because of the credit crunch. My advice' drop your prices stop tying to make a fortune. £3.95 for a scone and a cup of tea is not going to get you a lot of custom. My wife can make scones for pennies and a pot of tea for the same amount. Yes you have staff to pay and overheads to meet but you chose the business and its problems. Learn to walk before you can run, or in this case learn to cook before you charge.
A local fruit farmer complained that he will have to throw away tons of unsold fruit from his orchard because customers are not using his shop. Try dropping the price and then see how much you can sell.

There I've had a gripe nw I can drink my cocoa and go to bed.

I HAVE NEVER, NOR DO I INTEND, TO PUCHASE ANY RECORD ALBUM OR D.V.D OR VIDEO TAPE FEATURING THE LATE MICHAEL JACKSON. NEITHER WILL I BE LAYING A FLORAL TRIBUTE OR ATTENDING ANY MEMORIAL SERVICE.

hangs head in shame

NUF! SAID

the sea was an azure blue with an iridescent sheen. It waved to me, I waved back. The sand lay like a golden sheet with its edge lapped by the gentle waters. The sky was as blue as the sea with not a cloud to b to be seen. The sun beat down endlessly warming everything with its comforting glow. And I sat with a beautiful lady beneath a coloured umbrella on the quayside at Brixham and ate a fresh prawn salad. Could life get much better?

I HAVE NEVER BEEN DRUNK
I HAVE NEVER WATCHED AN EPISODE OF THE SIMPSONS
I DO NOT WATCH ANY T\V SOAP POGRAMME
I HATE ANY LIVE PROGRAMME WHERE THE AUDIENCE MAKES MORE NOISE THAN THE ARTISTS.(EX FACTOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT DANCING WITH THE STARS AND THE LIKE)
I HAVE NEVER WATCHED BIG BROTHER
I DON'T LIKE CRICKET
I DON'T LIKE FOOTBALL
WIMBLEDON FORTNIGHT IS THE MOST OVERHYPED AND BORING TO WEEKS OF THE YEAR
THE BEST FOOD IN THE ENTIRE WORLD IS A REAL CORNISH PASTY
I DO NOT TRUST ANY MEMBER OF THE GOVERNMENT
I HAVE KILLED AND EATEN VARIOUS BIRDS, FISH AND ANIMALS
I DO NOT GIVE A FIG ABOUT IRAN
I WILL NOT GROW OLD GRACEFULLY
I AM AT A LOSS AS TO WHAT TO SAY NOW AS IT IS NEARLY MY BEDTIME.

NOW I HAVE CONFESSED MY SINS I'M OFF TO THE SEASIDE BECAUSE I CAN.

Do cattle farmers go all 'moody'?
Do chicken breeders get 'all in a flap'?
Do beekepers tell everyone to 'buzz off'?
Do pork butchers get 'pig sick'?
Do toilet cleaners get 'p****d off'?
Do vermin exterminators get 'ratty'?
Do horse owners just say 'neigh'?
Do angler just go 'off the scale'?
Do road sweepers 'fly off the handle'?
Does a teacher get 'dilated pupils'?
Does a tailor lose his rag'?
Does a cricketer go 'batty'?
Does a mountaineer go 'over the top'?
Does a snake charmer have a 'hissy fit'?
Does a sailor go 'all to sea'?
Does a jigsaw designer go 'all to pieces'?
Does a dentist get 'down in the mouth'?
Does an astronomer see 'the dark side'?
Does a vegetarian go 'all to seed'?
Does a wine producer 'lose his bottle'?

I really must find something to do in the evening rather than sitting here eating ice cream and writing nonsense.

Here we are a week later. I have tried Aspirin, Paracetamol, Co-Codomol, Co Didramol, Ibuprofen, FreezerPads, Heat Pads, Two Body Belts, one Magnetic Belt, Hot Baths, Lying Flat, Exercise (painful)WHISKY, BRANDY and just doing nothing, and the back still hurts. A word to the wise. OLD MEN, BUY SHOES THAT SLIP ON, TO HELL WITH TYING UP LACES.

Mind you, I've come a "fairisle" way since then.

Spotted in the Betterware catalogue

Then what, train it to fetch the paper?

IT JUST GOT TO ME..HOPE IT GETS TO YOU TOO

WHO'S NAMES I WILL NOT MENTION

WE ALMOST SHARED A DREAM
WE ALMOST MADE IT AS A TEAM
HOW NICE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN
WE ALMOST TOUCHED THE STARS
AND THERE STOOD HEAVEN ALMOST OURS
WE WERE JUST OUTSIDERS LOOKING IN
WE HAD THE CHANCE TO FALL
BUT FATE STEPPED IN TO END IT ALL
BEFORE IT COULD BEGIN
AND IF IT'S TRUE YOU'RE REALLY GOING
THERE'S NOTHING BUT GOODBYE TO SAY
THE SADDEST PART OF ALL IS KNOWING
WE ALMOST WENT ALL THE WAY

YES I'VE BEEN THERE TOO

GO ON PLAY IT AGAIN YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

I wrote this long time ago, but it's still true.

If you thought I did not care at all
Would it make you sit and cry
Would a hint of mere indifference
Bring a tear into your eye
In those oft time dreaming moments
When you think of me alone
Would those thoughts of love spring from you
If you knew I would not come
Could you face unhappy hours
When they forced their dark way through
With an inward certain feeling
That I would not comfort you
When you needed to be gently touched
And a tear drop kissed away
Would it make it any harder
If I were not there to say
Words of love and understanding
That would mend a broken heart
Would it bring to you great sorrow
If we ever had to part
When you've dwelt upon these questions
If the answers should be yes
Then my dearest let me tell you now
And put your mind at rest
That forever if you need someone
With a heart and soul that's true
Then I promise to eternity
My undying love for you.

YES I AM A BIG SOFTY

MY LIFESTYLE AND BELIEFS CONTAIN MANY PROPHESIES AND PROVERBS FOLLOWING THE LATEST BLOGS ON PROVERBS HERE ARE A FEW MORE FOR YOU TO PONDER.

TO ATTEND THE EMPORER IS LIKE SLEEPING WITH A TIGER

WHEN A KING MAKES A MISTAKE ALL THE PEOPLE SUFFER

THE FRIENDSHIP OF OFFICIALS IS AS THIN AS PAPER

OF TEN REASONS WHICH A JUDGE MY HAVE TO DECIDE A CASE NINE WILL BE UNKNOWN TO MAN

DO NOT PRAY FOR GOLD JADE AND PRECIOUSE THINGS BUT PRAY THAT YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN MA ALL BE GOOD

IF HEAVEN WISHES TO RAIN OR YOUR MOTHER TO REMARRY THERE IS NO WAY TO STOP THEM

WE SPENT THE LAST TWO DAYS IN THE BRECON BEACONS NATIONAL PARK. WE STAYED AT THE DROVERS IN LLANDOVERY OVERNIGHT NICE HOMELY B\B THEN DROVE OVER THE HILLS ON THE A 4069 TO BRYNAMAN

EXCEPT FOR A FEW SHEEP WE HAD THE ROAD PRETTY MUCH TO OURSELVS THE WHOLE WAY. IT WAS JUST THE BEST SORT OF ROAD FOR MOTORCYCLING "WHAT SWEET MEMORIES"

WE THEN CARRIED ON ROUND TO THE SHOW CAVES AT DAN-YR-OGOF. THE CAVES ARE WELL WORTH VISITING, A LOT BIGGER THAN CHEDDAR. THERE ARE LIFE SIZE DINOSAUR MODELS FOR THE CHILDREN COMPLETE WITH SOUND EFFECTS,( APPARENTLY DINOSAURS ROAR A LOT). THERE IS A GOOD CAFE AND MUSEUM AS WELL AS FREE PARKING AND A PIC-NIC AREA.
THE DOWNSIDE WAS THE ANIMAL FARM AND SHIRE HORSE CENTRE. A FEW SHEEP AND LLAMAS, SOME WILD FOWL AND A CHILDRENS GO-KART TRACK. THE SHIRE HORSES AND A COUPLE OF SHELTAND PONIES WERE IN SOME STABLES. I KNOW THAT THE WEATHER WAS HOT AND SUNNY BUT I DO THINK THAT THE HORSES WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPIER IN A FIELD WITH SOME SHADE PROVIDED THAN STANDING ON A STONE FLOOR IN A DARK SHED, THEY DID NOT APPEAR TO BE VERY HAPPY.
I WOULD RECOMMND A VISIT TO THE BEACONS NATIONAL PARK THEY CAN B QUITE BREATHTAKING ON A NICE DAY

THE WELSH SHOW CAVES

BENEATH THE BRECON BEACONS

NOT THE EASIEST PLACE TO TAKE A GOOD PICTURE BUT I TRIED

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER TO BE THE MOST BORING, NAUSIATING SOUND YOU CAN HEAR? FOR ME IT IS TELEVISED TENNIS. BOOOORING PLIP PLOP GRUNT GRUNT SCREAM SCREAM ,ACCOMPANIED BY THE BANAL UTTERINGS OF THE COMMENTATORS WHO SEEM TO BE UNABLE TO KEEP QUIET FOR ONE MINUTE AND FEEL COMPELLED TO KEEP TALKING ,ADDING NOTHING TO THE GAME BUT HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING. AND THE WORST THING IS, WE HAVE SATELLITE T.V., THE SEASON HAS ONLY JUST STARTED AND MY WIFE IS AN ARDENT TENNIS FAN. I THINK I MIGHT HAVE TO GO FOR A LONG WALK.

I WENT TO THE WHITE MANS SCHOOL. I LEARNED TO READ FOM SCHOOL BOOKS, NEWSPAPERS AND THE BIBLE. BUT IN TIME I FOUND THAT THESE WERE NOT ENOUGH. CIVILISED PEOPLE DEPEND TOO MUCH ON MAN MADE PRINTED PAGES. I TURN TO THE GREAT SPIRIT'S BOOK WHICH IS THE WHOLE OF CREATION. YOU CAN READ A BIG PART OF THAT BOOK IF YOU STUDY NATURE. YOU KNOW, IF YOU TAKE ALL YOUR BOOKS, LAY THEM OUT UNDER THE SUN, AND LET THE SNOW AND RAIN AND INSECTS WORK ON THEM FOR A WHILE, THERE WILL BE NOTHING LEFT. BUT THE GREAT SPIRIT HAS PROVIDED YOU AND ME WITH AN OPPORTUNITY FOR STUDY IN NATURES UNIVERSITY, THE FORESTS, THE RIVERS, THE MOUNTAINS, AND THE ANIMALS WHICH INCLUDE US.

TATANGA MANI a stoney indian

OUR LOCAL M.P. MISS JULIE KIRKBRIDE IS "STEPPING DOWN" AT THE NEXT ELECTION. !OH GOODY! WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS. HOW MUCH WILL SHE BE ALLOWED TO CLAIM IN EXPENSES BETWEEN NOW AND THEN?
STUFF IT UNDER THE MATTRESS JULIE THE GAME'S UP.

EVERY YEAR OUR WHITE INTRUDERS BECOME MORE GREEDY, EXACTING, OPPRESIVE AND OVERBEARING....WANTS AND OPPRESSIONS ARE OUR LOT....ARE WE NOT BEING STRIPPED DAY BY DAY OF THE LITTLE THAT REMAINS OF OUR ANCIENT LIBERTY?....UNLESS EVERY TRIBE UNANIMOUSLY COMBINES TO GIVE CHECK TO THE AMBITION AND AVARICE OF THE WHITES, THEY WILL SOON CONQUER US APART AND DISUNITED,AND WE WILL BE DRIVEN AWAY FROM OUR NATIVE COUNTRY AND SCATTERED AS AUTUMNAL LEAVES BEFORE THE WIND,,,

TECUMSEH SHAWNEE 1812

I'M A LITTLE OLDER AND A LITTLE OVERWEIGHT
I GO TO BED EARLY AND I DON'T STAY OUT LATE
I CAN SING AN OLD SONG I REMEMBER ALL THE WORDS
AND WHEN I'M IN THE GARDEN I TALK TO ALL THE BIRDS

I DON'T LET MYSELF GET WORRIED BY THE PARLIAMENTRY FUSS
I'M ENTITLED TO FREE TRAVEL IF I WANT TO USE THE BUS
I'VE EVEN GOT A TICKET THAT LETS ME PARK THE CAR FOR FREE
AND I CAN EAT JUST WHAT I WANT WHEN IT COMES TO TIME FOR TEA

GROWING OLD DISGRACEFULLY IS WHAT I WANT TO DO
SOMETIMES IN THE SUPERMARKET I CAN JUMP THE QUEUE
PEOPLE STEP ASIDE AND SAY IT'S O.K. CUS' YOUR OLD
WHAT THEY DON'T APPRECIATE IS THAT I'M BEING BOLD

I DON'T HAVE LOTS OF MONEY IN A STOCKS AND SHARES ACCOUNT
TO LET SOME THIEVING BANKER TELL ME I CAN'T GET IT OUT
BECAUSE THEY'VE JUST INVESTED IN SOME BUSINESS OVERSEAS
THAT'S TAKEN ALL THE MONEY TO PAY BONUSES AND FEES

I'M SELF SUFFICIENT, SELF ASSURED AND SELF RELIANT TOO
TO KEEP MYSELF REAL HAPPY I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO
I WAKE UP EVERY MORNING AND GIVE THANKS THAT I'M STILL HERE
I CHECK THAT I CAN WALK AND TALK AND I CAN SEE AND HEAR

I HAVE ENOUGH TO PAY MY WAY ENOUGH FOR FOOD AND DRINK
FOR SOMEONE OLD AS I AM I AM REALLY IN THE PINK
I'VE STILL GOT HAIR I'VE STILL GOT TEETH A SENSE OF HUMOUR TOO
AND AS FOR IDIOSYNCRASIES I'VE STILL GOT QUITE A FEW

SO IF YOU'RE GETTING OLDER AND A LITTLE SHORT OF BREATH
JUST CONCENTRATE ON LIVING DISCOUNT ALL THE THOUGHTS OF DEATH
BE SATISFIED WITH WHAT YOU HAVE DON'T WANT FOR ANY MORE
REMEMBER THAT THE MAN UPSTAIRS IS THE ONE WHO'S KEEPING SCORE.

HAVE A GOOD ONE AND MANY MORE

I have been trying for ages to find a singer\songwriter\musician who could take a set of lyrics and add the music. I evn advertised in the local 'arts' centre where they play live music without success. There must be someone out there who just wants to write for the sake of writing and not just for the glory of television. So,if you are a budding songwriter\ musician\ performer\ band, looking for original country\blues\ a touch of gospel not rock\pop music and would like to get hold of some new material at no cost other than your own musical talent let me know. Even Elton John had to start somewhere. The nearer to Worcestershire the better.
yes:

I have just written to my M.P. to say that I will not support her at any future election. She is one who has 'cheated' the system, all in the rules of course. But I can not vote for someone who I deem to be dishonest in their use of the system, it's just the way I am. My principles have got me into trouble with authority on more than one occasion yet I still adhere to them even now. The question is,"Who is there to be trusted?" who can I possibly have enough faith in to grant them my support, knowing that beneath the surface they may be as corrupt as the last one I voted for. Come the next elections I think I might just be out of the country. And it's no good telling me that if I don't vote then it's my fault if the wrong people get in again, as far as I can see there are no right people. Today I have recieved pamphlets from the three major parties in the forthcoming local elction. I do not know any of them. One even apologised for not canvassing in person but stated that they were "too busy". I'm too busy to vote. I think I'll go away again and put it down to expenses.

For the past hour I have been sitting here listening to Elvis sing gospel songs, whilst reading Conversations with God, written by my good friend Bob Miller (vanquished)
I just went into the kitchen to wash my coffee cup. The kitchen was rich with the smell of fresh baking, and as I stood by the sink I was met by the scent of a fresh rose which I had cut from the garden for my wife earlier in the day, and which she had placed in a small glass vase on the window sill.
Little things like this are the jewels in life that make living so enjoyable. May you all find the little things in life that make you glad to be alive.
Blessings SpiritBird.

It is reported that an M.P. (no names) claimed several thousand pounds for book shelves. He should have come to me. I have just twelve feet of shelf space with ten compartments in my office for thirty quid. Sometimes I think I'm wasted.

There is no limit to the good a person can do, if he does not care who gets the credit.

     don't blow your own trumpet, let being a nice person be your reward

THE DESERT REALLY DOES GET DARK

THEN AGAIN IT CAN GET VERY BRIGHT LIKE AT THE SHIMMERING SALT LAKE

THE WIND BLOWS THE SAND INTO WAVES

AND INTO SHINING HILLS

AS THE BERBER TAKE SHELTER IN THEIR CAMP

THE ROCKY DESERT PLAINS GIVE WAY

TO THE DRY RIVER BED AS IT WAITS FOR RAIN

MEANWHILE THE HIGH SIDES OF THE RIVER GORGE GIVE SHELTER

TO THE STRUGGLING DESERT FLOWERS

YOU SEE IT'S NOT ALL SAND IN THE DESERT, SAND WHICH IS INCIDENTALY AS FINE AS SIFTED FLOUR

These cave dwellings are till lived in by Berber families. They were used in scenes for the movie Star Wars.
They have no running water but do have satelite t.v.

WAS HE AN AMERICAN
WHAT WAS HE DOING IN THE AMPHITHEATRE IN EL JEM IN TUNISIA
WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM???????
THESE AND MANY MORE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN RAISED BY THIS PICTURE TAKEN LAST WEEK
COME ON ALL YOU DETECTIVES START SEARCHING

I am back and raring to go.
Actually tomorrow might be better as we did not get home until the early hours and I have some sleep to catch up on, but as I had to check up on something I thought I might say hello while I'm here.
I am ready for a long hot summer after visiting the Sahara.

Lots more pics to follow in the next week or so when I have managed to sort through nearly a thousand taken in two weeks.
Glad to see you all up and about, now I'm off to bed.
Blessings SpiritBird

  Yes friends  have had enough of the doom and gloom
 news and the despondancy of the nation. I have seen and heard all I want to of corrupt politicians. I am in need of inspiration and peace. Tomorrow we are off to visit friends in Tunisia with a suitcase of toys and goodies. Five star luxury for two weeks will help to recharge the batteries. Maybe a trip to the Sahara for a soul cleansing. Have fun while I am away and don't forget to be kind to each other.

Blessings  SpiritBird 

THE DAILY MAIL ASKED FOR PICTURES OF THE LARGEST POT HOLE IN THE U.K
I OFFER THIS

PICTURE BY KATRINA

I wanted to say something really profound tonight but could think of nothing then I opened a small book of Native American sayings at this page.
Sagoyewatha
Am I happy in what I am doing? Is what I'm doing going to add to the confusion in the world? What am I doing to bring about peace and contentment? And how will I be remembered when I am gone?
Four easy questions, what are your answeres?

HEAR ON T\V THIS MORNING
A FILM CREW WERE TRYING TO FILM A SCENE IN A SCOTTSH TOWN. EACH TIME THEY STARTED TO FILM A DOG WOULD START TO BARK. THIS WAS MOST MOST EXASPIRATING FOR ALL CONCERNED. AFTER A WHILE A LADY LEANED OUT OF AN UPSTAIRS WINDOW AND SHOUTED "KICK HIS BALLS THAT WILL SHUT HIM UP" THE NEXT TIME THE DOG BARKED THE DIRECTOR KICKED THE DOG HARD IN THE GENITAL REGION AND THE DOG RAN AWAY YELPING. "NOT THOSE BALLS" SHOUTED THE WOMAN, "THOSE TENNIS BALLS ON THE GRASS"

On Tuesday I planted some beans in pots. On Wednesday one of the beans was on top of the dirt so I replanted it. On Thursday the same bean was on top of the dirt again, so I replanted it. At the same time I put out next to the pots three baited mouse traps. This morning I had all my beans in pots andthree dead mice. Moral of the story. " leave my £&^%£!"£$ beans alone you rodents"

Last week eight policemen, some wearing stab vests, were deployed outside a jerk chicken takeaway to prevent children from buying food that was not supposed to be healthy.
At the weekend at Brands Hatch motorcycle meeting where twenty five thousand bikers, many having drunk a quantity of alcohol and other things. Were looked after by nine policemen whose job was to direct traffic. I think we should get rid of schoolkids they are a lot of trouble for he police.

I just wanted to share it

ALWAYS CREATE YOUR OWN DREAMS
DREAMS CAN COME TRUE IF YOU TAKE THE TIME TO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE.
GET TO KNOW YOURSELF,
CHOOSE YOUR GOALS CAREFULLY, FIND OUT WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU.
DON'T BE AFRAID TO MAKE MISTAKES.
LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME.
OPEN YOURSELF UP TO LOVE.
LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST.
CREATE YOUR OWN DREAMS AND FOLLOW THEM UNTIL THEY ARE A REALITY.

suit small family

  MAY YOU HAVE SUNSHINEAND MUSIC AND FLOWERS
LOTS OF SWEET THINGSAND PLENTY OF LOVE OVER EASTER

Blessings  SpiritBird

Not the most nutritious way to start your children feeding.
Give me the child at one year old and I'll give you an obese teenager.

BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A CLOUD

 I have just revamped my computer after a lot of trouble.  It seems that my e\mail has gone all to pot and you are not receiving anymore.  If you are on my regular list perhaps you might send me a "HI" so that I can reconnect and put you back in my file. Happy summer time  Ed 

IF WE COULD SHRINK THE EARTH TO A VILLAGE WITH A POPULATION OF PRECISELY 100 PEOPLE, WITH EXISTING HUMAN RATIOS REMAINING THE SAME, THERE WOULD BE.
57 ASIANS
21 EUROPEANS. 14 FROM THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE BOTH NORTH AND SOUTH
8 AFRICANS

52 WOULD BE FEMALE
48 WOULD BE MALE

70 WOULD BE NON WHITE
30 WOULD BE WHITE

70 WOULD BE CHRISTIAN
30 WOULD BE NON CHRISTIAN

89 WOULD BE HETROSEXUAL
11 WOULD BE HOMOSEXUAL

6 PEOPLE WOULD POSSESS 59% OF THE ENTIRE WORLDS WEALTH AND WOULD BE FROM THE UNITED STATES

80 WOULD LIVE IN SUB STANDARD HOUSING
70 WOULD BE UNABLE TO READ
50 WOULD SUFFER FROM MALNUTRITION

1 WOULD BE NEAR DEATH
1 WOULD BE NEAR BIRTH

1 (YES ONLY ONE) WOULD HAVE A COLLEGE EDUCATION
1 WOULD OWN A COMPUTER

WHEN WE CONSIDER OUR WORLD FROM SUCH A COMPRESSED PERSPECTIVE, THE NEED FOR ACCEPTANCE, UNDERSTANDING AND EDUCATION BECOME INCREASINGLY APPARENT.

IF YOU HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED THE DANGER OF BATTLE, THE LONELINESS OF IMPRISONMENT, THE AGONY OF TORTURE, OR THE PANGS OF STARVATION - YOU ARE AHEAD OF 500 MILLION PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.

IF YOU CAN ATTEND A CHURCH MEETING WITHOUT FEAR, HARRASSMENT, ARREST, TORTURE OR DEATH - YOU ARE MORE BLESSED THAN 3 MILLION PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.

IF YOU HAVE FOOD IN THE REFRIGERATOR, CLOTHES ON YOUR BACK, A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD AND A SAFE PLACE TO SLEEP - YOU ARE RICHER THAN 75% OF THE WORLD.

IF YOU HAVE MONEY IN THE BANK, IN YOUR WALLET, AND SPARE CHANGE IN A DISH SOMEWHERE - YOU ARE AMONG THE TOP 8% OF THE WORLDS WEALTHY.

MAKES YOU THINK DOESN'T IT
HAVE A BLESSED DAY
SPIRITBIRD

HOW TO CUT THE COST OF PETROL

JANE GOODY WILL BE BURIED WITH FULL MILITARY HONOURS. THERE WILL BE A FLY PAST BY THE RED ARROWS. THE CORTAGE WILL CONSIST OF 21 DAIMLER CARS AND WILL BE ATTENDED BY ROYALTY AS WELL AS THE ENTIRE CABINET. LARGE SCREEN TELEVISION WILL ENABLE THE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF MOURNERS TO SHARE IN THE FUNERAL SERVICE AS WELL AS BEING TELEVISED AROUND THE WORLD BY SATELITE. FOLLOWING THE INTERNMENT AT WESTMINSTER ABBEY THERE WILL BE A STATUE TO HER MEMORY ERECTED OUTSIDE BUCKINGHAM PALACE. THIS STATUE WILL BE MADE ENTIRELY FROM BULLSHIT.

TODAY WAS A BEAUTIFUL DAY SO WE HAD A DRIVE OUT TO MY WIFES FAMILIES OLD COUNTRY.THE VILLAGE STILL HAS THE OLD MARKET SQUARE

A THIRTEENTH CENTURY CHURCH THAT IS SO QUIET INSIDE YOU CAN HEAR YOUR HEART BEAT
THERE IS A MIXTURE OF SHOPS INCLUDING A NUMBER OF CHARITY SHOPS AND A COUPLE OF GOOD BUTCHERS AND A DECENT CHIP SHOP

AND A HIDDEN LAKE. A PLACE OF PEACE AND TRANQUILLITY.
OF COURSE I CAN'T TELL YOU WHERE IT IS BECAUSE YOU WOULD ALL GO THERE AND THAT MIGHT SPOIL IT.
SORRY

MY CAT LOVES ME.
TAKEN FROM THE DAILY MAIL

KEVIN RICHARDSON AND MEG THE 29STONE LIONESS COOL OFF IN THE RIVER AT THE SOUTH AFRICAN RESERVE WHERE THEY BOTH LIVE.

Some there are that torment themselves afresh with the memory of what is past; others, again, afflict themselves with the apprehension of evils to come, and very ridiculously-for the one does not now concern us, and the other not yet....One should count each day a separate life.

Seneca (1st century b.c.

Firstly thanks to all who made a comment, probably my most for one blog. The general concensus of opinions seem to agree on when it happened, why it happened and who was and is responsible. It's good to know that I am not just being a grumpy old man and that a lot of people care about the rapid decline of not only ours but other countries who are suffering the same dilema. Next time you get a chance to vote take a good look at the candidates backround and if you don't trust it, don't vote. It is time to take back our heritage.

A BAD DAY IS JUST A GOOD DAY THAT DIDN'T GO QUITE RIGHT

When I open my heart and let the sun and the grass and th water touch me. Then I can open myself and touch others.

Did your Grandfather wear a waistcoat and a flat cap? Did he smoke a pipe filled with black tobacco that he cut with his old army jacknife.? Did he plant vegetables in the garden and keep chickens in a run.?  Did he sit by the fire place in his rocking chair occasionally prodding the fire with an iron poker?  Did he show you how to hold a toasting fork so as not to burn your hands whilst the bread took on that magical taste that only fire toasted bread had?  Did he make you wooden toys in a shed down the garden? Did he teach you how to whistle through a blade of grass or catch crickets and keep them in a jar? Did he teach you how to read the sky for weather signals or which plant you could eat the leaves off? Did he grow marrows on top of the old wartime air raid shelter and raspberries up the fence? Did he let you taste his beer when your gran was out of the room? Did he always touch his nose with his finger when he had just told you a secret? And did you never understand where he had gone when he was no longer there? 

I have given up on holiday firms for this year. For weeks now I have been trying to book an early holiday. The hotel that we usually visit is full up, the cruise that we want to do can not be arranged as we would like, only as is convenient to the travel company. I want to travel from my local airport to a destination of MY choice. No say the travel companies, you will fly from an airport of our choosing to a destination of our choice. All you have to do is pay us lots of money.
So holiday companies and package deals STUFF it. We are going to pack the car with suit cases weighing what we like, throw in a couple of bikes, wait till the sun is shining and go off round France when we like. Sometimes I can be really stubborn.

Thank you for your comments, it seems that I have been lucky and not had to put up with some of the things that others have received. It did get some good reaction, which was what I wanted. Personally anything that I receive is read and then discounted if not liked or rude, but then I am very thick skinned and not easily moved by ignorance. Long may you all continue to blog in safety and enjoy the fellowship of the sane and not the simple minded.

I HAVE RECENTLY PASSED COMMENTS ON A COUPLE OF BLOG SITES WHO WILL NOT PUBLISH YOUR COMMENT UNTIL THEY HAVE  "APPROVED" IT. ARE THEY AFRAID OF CRITICISM OR DO THEY JUST WANT TO PUBLISH WHAT AGREES WITH THEM. CENSORESHIP IN THE COMMUNITY? IF YOU CANT TAKE A BIT OF CRITICISM YOU SHOULD FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO OCCUPY YOUR MIND.

1  OLD LADIES CAN EAT MORE THAN YOU THINK
2  YOU CAN'T RESPECT A MAN WHO CARRIES A DOG
3  THERE'S NO PANICK LIKE THE PANIC YOU MOMENTARILY FEEL WHEN YOU'VE GOT YOUR HAND OR HEAD STUCK IN SOMETHING

4  NO ONE KNOWS THE ORIGIN OF THEIR METAL COAT HANGERS
5  DESPITE CONSTANT WARNINGS YOU HAVE NEVER MET SOMEONE WHO'S ARM HAS BEEN BROKEN BY A SWAN
6  THE MOST PAINFUL HOUSHOLD INCIDENT IS WEARING SOCKS AND STEPPING ON AN UPTURNED PLUG
7  PEOPLE WHO DON'T DRIVE SLAM CAR DOORS TOO HARD
8  YOU'VE TURNED INTO YOUR DAD THE DAY YOU PUT ASIDE A THIN PIECE OF WOOD SPECIFICALLY TO STIR PAINT
9  EVERYONE HAS AN UNCLE WHO TRIED TO STEAL THIER NOSE

10  BRICKS ARE HORRIBLE THINGS TO CARRY
11  IN EVERY PLATE OF CHIPS THERE IS A BAD ONE
12  KNOWLEDGE IS KNOWING A TOMATO IS A FRUIT; WISDOM IS KNOWING NOT TO PUT IT IN A FRUIT SALAD

BE HAPPY

1  PRODDING A FIRE WITH A STICK MAKES YOU FEEL MANLY
2  RUMMAGING IN AN OVERGROWN GARDEN WILL ALWAYS TURN UP A BOUNCY BALL
3  YOU ALWAYS FEEL A BIT SCARED WHEN STROKING A HORSE

4  EVERYONE ALWAYS REMEMBERS THE DAY A DOG RAN INTO YOUR SCHOOL
5  THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING YOU CAN CALL YOUR TEACHER IS MOM OR DAD
6  THE SMALLER THE MONKEY THE MORE IT LOOKS LIKE IT WOULD KILL YOU AT THE FIRST OPPORTUNITY

7  SOME DAYS YOU SEE LOTS OF PEOPLE ON CRUTCHES
8  EVERY BLOKE AT SOME STAGE WHILE TAKING A PE, FLUSHED HALF WAY THROUGH AND THEN RACED AGAINST THE FLUSH
9  OLD WOMEN WITH MOBILE PHONES LOOK WRONG
10  OT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO LOOK COOL WHEN PICKING UP A FRISBEE
11  DRIVING THROUGH A TUNNEL MAKES YOU  FEEL EXCITED
12  YOU NEVER RUN OUT OF SALT

1 TRIANGULAR SANDWICHES TASTE BETTER THAN SQUARE ONES

2 AT THE END OF EVERY PARTY THERE IS ALWAYS A GIRL CRYING
3 ONE OF THE MOST AWKWARD THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN IN A PUB IS WHEN YOUR PINT-TO-TOILET CYCLE GETS SYCHRONISED WITH A STRANGER

4 YOU'RE NEVER QUITE SURE WHETHER IT IS O.K. TO EAT GREEN CRISPS
5 EVERYONE WHO GREW UP IN THE EIGHTIES HAS ENTERED 55378008 INTO A CALCULATOR

6 READING WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK IS HORRIBLE
7 SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A KNIFE MAKES YOU FEEL MANLY

8 YOU'RE NEVER QUITE SURE WHETHER IT'S AGAINST THE LAW TO HAVE A BONFIRE IN YOUR BACK GARDEN
9 YOU WONDER WHETHER FOOTBALLERS ARE REALLY AS THICK AS THEY SOUND

10 NOBODY EVER DARES MAKE A CUP-A-SOUP IN A BOWL
11 YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE TO LOOK WHEN EATING A BANANA

12 IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DESCRIBE THE SMELL OF A WET CAT